As I sit here on New Year’s Eve, I’m reminded of how this day/celebration has never been that big of a deal to me. As a kid, I can recall the first time when my brother and I begged for the chance to stay up until Midnight. There we were, sitting on the floor in the Living Room, our legs under the coffee table to where our chins were close to the top of the table, which was ideal for shoveling-in garlic dip and potato chips, while the adults were conversing in the Dining Room. I remember Mom checking-in and cautioning us to “go easy on that dip you two.” We didn’t listen. We got to Midnight, Dick Clark was on the T.V. counting down as the ball dropped in New York, and when everyone yelled “Happy New Year” I was underwhelmed. ”This is it?” I thought. I guess I expected some magical feeling to come over me with a new year, but it never happened. Oh, a feeling came over my brother and I a few hours later, but it was far from magical. It was us feeling the effects of the Garlic Dip Mom warned us about. Maybe that’s why New Year’s Eve has never been that big of a deal to me. I’m scarred from the “Garlic Dip Incident.” As I got older, I chose to adopt the belief that your Birthday, is your REAL New Year and we should give more focus to that. Individually, that’s truly what is our New Year if you really think about it. I mentioned that to a Life Coach and she said, “I love that!” That’s why I started writing in a 5-year journal on my birthday. I want to chronicle 5 years, birthday to birthday.
That being said, 2023 was a major year for me: The year of experiencing “firsts” without Mom. She passed away in late November last year so it basically made 2023 a year of things with her missing. She was a sports fanatic so it was a year of many instances of wanting to pick up the phone and call her to ask “Well, what did you think of that game?” And then remembering “oh yeah, can’t do that.” It marked we *kids* going through her things at the house and laughing over all the things she saved. For me there were those items that, on my own, I was glad to get to take home with me. 2023 was the first time to not spend Mothers Day with her, to not have her around for my birthday, to not be able to wish her a happy birthday, to experience countless times the thought “wait until Mom here’s THIS!” and then going “oh yeah…..can’t call her.” That doesn’t mean I didn’t have moments of talking to her anyway, though. I DO feel her often.
2023 was significant in that I turned the big 6-0. I believe you should be grateful to be around to get to have another birthday, but 60 does make you pause and think, or at least it did that for me. I’m 60. I still don’t know that I fully grasp that. How quickly that happened! 2023 was the year of retiring. Retirement came with its own observations. It has felt so good and changed me to the point that a lesson learned is the importance of not letting work control your life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of those “Old School” types who believes in having a good work ethic. It’s how I was raised, and I think all that I have achieved is because I have that work ethic. I realize, though, that I had no work/life balance—-ZERO—-I didn’t have it in the 18 years I worked in Radio nor in the 25 years working in the “Event World.” That’s all on me, I suppose. I COULD have probably had it. I can now pull back and see that Radio was me doing something that I had a passion for that fit my natural self so well. I left that world for financial reasons and more stability. You know–the end justifying the means. Not sure it was the wisest choice for personal satisfaction, but the past can’t be changed so no point in dwelling on it. Life Coaching has taught me that. The past is like re-watching a movie. The ending is always the same. Through my career choices, I did get the financial reward and stability, there’s no denying that. It’s how I retired at 60. I’m choosing to soak that up.
Other things I’ve observed in the last 4 months of 2023 being retired:
—Friday is no longer a special day. Kind of sad to see Friday’s shine go away. Friday’s sex appeal is gone. Just saying “Friday” used to make me so happy. Now it’s just another day.
—On the flip side every day is great now! Seriously. It’s as it should be. I appreciate each day now. I truly do. Too bad we cannot figure out how to see this while working which would mean Friday wouldn’t have so much chrome and shine.
—That moment early in retirement when you hit about 2 p.m. on a Sunday and realize you DON’T have to prep for returning to the job the next day is a fabulous feeling and triggers the biggest smile. For me, I was in a sports bar watching a Green Bay Packers game when that wonderful realization came over me for the first time. I remember that moment well. It was a 2023 highlight.
—For me, apparently the appeal of Christmas vacation and my obsession with the holiday period was heavily centered around the time off. Professionally, all my adult life I primarily took vacation over the Christmas holiday period. Even when I was in Radio. It was an easier time to be away from the office with less phone calls and email to catch-up on. This year, being retired, I came to realize how the Christmas period no longer meant relishing kicking back binge-watching something. That’s life now. The Christmas period was great but I found myself not counting-down the days. It seems my love for the holidays and Fall and Winter was more related to absorbing the period of time that did not involve planning for a big summer event that was part of my previous work life. For years I always knew in the back of my mind that once the holidays were over the pressure-cooker period would begin shortly after the first of the year and would build through July. There was no relaxing summer experiences until August. No summer vacations, etc. My fellow staff members and I knew that was not in the cards for us. This year I find myself eagerly looking forward to Spring and Summer for the first time in my adult life. Better late than never. I’m going to experience morning coffee outside at the patio table right after the sun comes up, fishing with The Fisherman, planning out a garden I will have time to take care of, and barbecues outside on any evening we want to have them without me working late and being a ball of stress when I eventually get home, which The Fisherman will appreciate. Bring it on!
In my professional working life at some point right before New Year’s Day, I would make sure I had any calendars I wanted for my office and then I would do my annual cleaning/purging of my briefcase. Not this year. Mentally, the change is staggering.
Somewhere in all this is a monumental lesson. I think we’ve all heard that quote (I don’t know who said it,): ”Do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Mindset work is clearly key, it’s not a “Woo-Woo” concept. Life Coaching has taught me that.. I get it all now. With the clarity that I now have, I can say I would have done a lot of things differently, but I’ve also learned NOT to dwell on the past. It’s over. I know how that movie ends.
2023 and retirement found me really accepting, finally, the work that I knew needed to be done on ME based on things I learned in Life Coaching. I took that deep-dive in November. I took a weekend workshop and immediately could see/understand what it did for me and while I’m still working on it/me, I know it will help me AND The Fisherman in 2024. I’m grateful for his patience. I had a LOT of baggage to unpack. I’m not ashamed to admit it, but I’m slowly sorting through it. I told The Fisherman the money spent on that workshop might very well be some of the best I’ve ever spent.
In a few hours, 2024 rolls in and I’m ready for it. I plan to write more often about our “wanderings.” Stay tuned!
Happy New Year and go easy on the garlic dip!
Observations on getting used to being one of those gray-haired retired people 